Altruism is about purposefully and genuinely improving someone's life by meeting their needs, without expecting anything in return—although it's always a bonus if you get a reward in return. Because being kind feels good (especially during the holidays). But it's also scientifically proven ( see here ) to be one of the best ways to experience happiness, which might explain why it's a central tenet of religions and recovery programs. Use these 33 strategies to unleash your altruistic side and improve your well-being in the process.
01. Make a reverse Advent calendar
Setting up a "reverse Advent calendar" alongside the traditional chocolate calendar in the workplace can help those most in need. Place an empty box near a focal point in the office and ask your colleagues to join you in adding a non-perishable food item each day until Christmas. When it's full, take it to a local food bank.
02. Donate blood or plasma
The absence of certain antibodies in men's blood makes it easier to use in blood products such as plasma and platelets, allowing you to give the gift of life by sacrificing just 20 minutes of your day. You'll receive free cookies after your donation and a text message letting you know which hospital put your blood to good use. Visit giveblood.org .
03. Share it with others
“The next time you go for a coffee or a sandwich, pay for the person in the queue behind you,” suggests psychotherapist Lucy Beresford . “Be mindful of the people who might need your support. You don’t have to spend a lot on this; it’s more about brightening someone’s day.”
04. Put your phone aside
"When the phone is out—in your hand or on the table—it makes the people around you feel less important," says Simon Sinek , author of Start With Why . In meetings, at the table, at the pub, pay attention to the people in the room.
05. Give your time
An hour or two a week spent on a community project through groups like Good Gym will benefit both those around you and the place you live. Research from Imperial College London shows that an environmental cause is also the best place to meet other genuinely selfless people.
06. Make a direct donation
Set up a standing order for charity through your banking app today, then sit back and relax knowing you've done a good deed.
07. Getting lost
Learn how to step outside of your thoughts, emotions, and desires and focus on your surroundings. In a study conducted by Psychological Science , people who were taught to meditate spent nearly twice as much on donations in a game designed to test its impact on altruism.
08. Prioritize your schedule
Simply making yourself more available to friends or family can give everyone the boost they need. “Share your time with people who make you feel positive for a win-win outcome,” suggests Dr. Zac Seidler , a psychologist and advisor to the Movember campaign. “It’s also important for your mental health to regularly catch up and reconnect.”
09. Help the elderly
Studies have shown that as many as one in three older people feel lonely and isolated, especially during the harsh winter months. Taking the time to chat with elderly neighbors can have a positive impact on them and may be a moment of enlightenment or learning for you.
10. Develop your skills
"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle," Father James Keller , a Catholic priest, once said. What skills can you pass on to others? Consider mentoring a younger colleague, or offer your expertise as a web designer, marketer, or accountant to groups with the least money to afford such skills.
11. Use altruism to boost your morale
Okay, the idea is to be selfless, but you can still improve your well-being by giving more time, focus, and helping others. A study published in the Journal of Individual Differences shows that random acts of kindness are accompanied by greater feelings of happiness in the people who do the good deed.
12. Receive what you give
Altruistic people have more sex, according to academics at the University of Guelph in Canada. Research into how altruism predicts mating success in humans reveals that being more generous results in others wanting to give you more in return.
13. Get a medal in 2022
Completing a charity run, bike ride, or mustache competition is a great social event that allows you to feel good while helping a cause you care about. It also gives you an excuse to eat some treats as a reward.
14. Connect with others
Studies have shown that making the effort to get to know your loved ones well is a selfless act that strengthens relationships. What makes your partner happy? How do they behave when they're happy? What makes your partner angry? What do they like most about you? What do you think you could say or do to make your partner's life better? If you can't answer any of these questions, it's time to start listening more.
15. Make more jokes
Making people laugh triggers a release of beneficial chemicals, which helps boost their immune systems, (according to a study published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute ), reduce stress, and even make them more creative.
16. Respond with empathy
Take a moment to ask yourself what the person who just insulted, upset, or offended you is experiencing. It's easy to judge, but putting yourself in their shoes for a moment—even if only in your imagination—is the first step in cultivating empathy. Broadening your perspective is a great gift for yourself and others.
17. Do a good deed
“Just try helping one random person every day,” suggests Beresford . “It could be helping someone lift a stroller up a flight of stairs on your commute, or offering a hot drink to a homeless person.”
18. Improve yourself for others
“To become more selfless, you have to focus on yourself,” says life coach Mitch Peterson . “Personal growth, working out, and learning more is far from selfish. “By spending a little time each day focusing on myself, I shape my life so that I can better serve others.”
19. Smile more
“Walk into every room with a smile,” says Beresford . No matter your mood, your expression has the ability to set the tone for others. If you enter an environment with a positive mindset, you offer others that same quality, as they will be inspired to copy what they see emanating from you.
20. Set an example
“We can’t insist that others meditate, but if we meditate, we can become less judgmental, more accepting, and more compassionate,” says M. Gelong Thubten , author of the best-selling book A Monk’s Guide To Happiness . “Wherever we go, our character affects our environment. Like when you drop a stone into a pond and the ripples spread, one thing leads to the next.”
21. Depressurize
“Practicing compassion involves thinking about others and doing what we can to alleviate their suffering. Our focus shifts, and our problems are put into perspective,” adds Thubten . “The microscope is removed from our ego, and we become less self-absorbed. Our own suffering can seem smaller, less burdensome, which gives us the space to help others.”
22. Listen carefully
“We often use ‘How are you?’ as a casual greeting, and we don’t really expect or hear the response,” says therapist and yoga teacher Mr. James Chapman . “But giving someone our full attention and really listening to what they’re saying with interest, without interrupting or judgment, shows that we care and has huge benefits for their mental health and overall well-being. We don’t have to solve their problems, just listen attentively.”
23. Give yourself a break
“One of the most underestimated barriers to altruism is self-criticism,” explains clinical psychologist Dr. Nick Wignall . “When you’re constantly beating yourself up in your own mind, it’s that much harder to get into a generous mindset. When you’re used to being compassionate with yourself, it’s much easier to extend that mindset to the people around you. It’s easier to avoid the self-centeredness of constant self-criticism and, instead, open yourself up to being of service to those around you.”
24. Leave five stars
Break with the trend and spread some goodness online. If you had a great night out, were impressed by a place's service, or are simply happy with your eBay purchase, praise it. A positive review can be a real boost for the recipient—with the possibility of receiving a gift the next time you use the service.
25. Be more like Mr. Ed Sheeran
"The singer recently shared that he used to make lasagna for his friends when they had babies," says Beresford . "OK, he's not the first person to do this, but you can channel the vibe by making your favorite recipes, either for couples nesting or for someone you know who is sick or struggling in some way."
26. Be the best man
Machismo can be a major obstacle to more altruistic behavior. One of the hotbeds of selfishness, aggression, and one-upmanship in the red mist is the queue. "If you're waiting in traffic, let someone in," Chapman says. "If you're in a gym and someone has left weights lying around, put them away. Do all of these things without expecting anything in return."
27. Serve soup
Charities that work with the homeless often need extra hands at Christmas. “Meals are a great way to connect with people,” says Beresford . “And you’ll find you have a deep connection not only with your fellow volunteers, but also with the people you serve.”
28. Corner the congratulations market
“It’s easy to fall into the trap of being envious of other people’s success,” says Beresford . “Instead, be the first to step out of the box to be happy for others and send congratulations. Whether you hear about an engagement or a triumph at work, celebrate their joy. This positivity will also keep you optimistic so your own dreams can manifest more quickly.”
29. Write a letter
A personal, handwritten thank you shows thought, effort, time, and a little more thoughtfulness than two smiley emojis and a thumbs-up could ever convey. Take a moment to share your news by mail with someone you haven't seen in ages.
30. Get out of your comfort zone
Offer to babysit, walk the dog, or house-sit for friends or family if you've never done it before. "What can often be a real chore for the parent, dog owner, or holiday manager is made easier by having someone you trust take on the task," adds Beresford . You might discover a talent for baby whispering, the joy of spending time with a pet, or a new pub.
31. Stretch
“Yoga is all about connection—with your body through conscious movement, with your breath through pranayama, with your mind through meditation,” suggests Chapman . “When you practice regularly, you’ll notice that you feel different every time, some days are harder, you struggle with a pose that was easy the day before, but you’re still the same person. You learn to appreciate that we’re all different, we all change, and we have different struggles at different times, but ultimately, we all deserve the same care and respect.”
32. Create a group
Taking charge of the weekly happy hour, organizing the quiz team, or forming a bike ride can take time to organize—but the benefits are enormous. “If you publicize it widely, your personal circle of contacts will expand because you’re giving people the opportunity to meet like-minded souls,” suggests Beresford . “By showing up and holding space for these people, you’re letting your inner light shine.”
33. Give and receive
"When you're more altruistic, you get a lot of positive feedback from your environment," Thubten explains. "Everyone wants to help you because they know you'd help them. You're in a harmonious situation within yourself and around you. So, the compassionate person feels loved, protected, and safe. The complete opposite of the selfish person."
